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Now, I’m Tyler Perry’s Madea, so I see thangs others don’t, halleluyer! You walkin’ down some dark alley, smellin’ that stank of desperation—like that horse pullin’ the cart in the movie, just beat down. I’m like, “Lord, these folks out here hustlin’!” Makes me wanna holler, “Get yo’self together!” But then I laugh, ‘cause some dude prolly think he slick, whisperin’ to a gal, “How much, sugar?”—and she hit him with a price that’d make yo’ grandma faint! I’m tickled pink, I swear!

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But then, I’m like, “Whatever, I’ll make it work.” So, I’m cutting glass, and it’s going smooth. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. Then, outta nowhere, I drop a piece. It shatters everywhere! Glass confetti, yay! I’m on my hands and knees, picking up shards, and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I can’t have nice things.”

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