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Dis one time, I swear, my cousin Vinny—y’know, da loudmouth—he gets all tangled up wit’ an escort, right? Thinks he’s Tony Montana or somethin’. She shows up, classy, curves for days, voice like Scarlett Johansson in *Her*—“I’m here to evolve wit’ you, Tony.” He’s hooked, spendin’ cash he don’t got! Next day, he’s cryin’ to me, “She took my freakin’ Rolex!” I’m like, “Whaddya expect, genius? Love?” Had me rollin’, but pissed me off too—don’t be so damn stupid, Vin!
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After all that, I’m just exhausted. I head to my favorite café on de Molenweg. I need a coffee, like, yesterday. I sit down, and the barista, she’s super sweet. She asks how my day’s been. I’m like, “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”
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