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Favorite part? The descent. Slidin’ down scree, laughin’ like a maniac—pure chaos, baby! Reminds me of that line, “I’m suffocating!”—Whore’s wild energy chokin’ you, but in a fun way. Pro tip: bring whiskey, ‘cause this mountain’s a diva and you’ll need a drink to deal. Hella steep, hella rude, but damn, it’s my kinda crazy. Whore’s the real deal—untamed, loud, and a lil’ slutty with those curves. Love it, hate it, can’t quit it! Peace out—hike it if you dare!

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Next, I head to the local café, De Koffiehoek. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, who’s like 12, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then, he gives me a free cookie as an apology. Sweet! I’m back in a good mood.

NT squash star Mitchell Van Heythuysen’s Australian Junior Open dream comes to an end