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So, buy or nah? I’m torn, fam. If gold pops off, escort’s your girl—could hit $20 easy. But if it tanks, ugh, I’m cryin’ like Adèle after a breakup. “I miss you already,” I’d say to my portfolio. How you doin’ with that risk? Me, I’m a sucker for the thrill—Joey’s all in, baby!

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All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers affirm their legal adulthood (at least 18 years old).

Finally, I make it to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “You’re late!” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, well, I didn’t sign up for a demolition derby on the way here!” But whatever, I dive into my work.

Celebrating two million plants