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So, sex-dating’s proper mental. You got yer dopamine spikin’, like when I’m snortin’ – nah, just kiddin’, mate! Brain’s all fizzy, hormones goin’ apeshit. Little fact for ya – didja know back in the ‘60s, swingers used key parties to hook up? Chuck keys in a bowl, pick one, bang whoever’s it was – fuckin’ mad, eh? Now it’s all digital, swipe-swipe, dick pics flyin’. Makes me angry, tho – half these blokes can’t spell “horny” right, H-O-R-N-I-E, fuckin’ idiots! Happy too, coz sometimes you score a fit bird who’s into weird shit – like, biochem kink? Surprise hit me when this one lass said she dated 13 geezers in a week – a WEEK, mate! Legend or slag, you decide.

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Then, I decide to treat myself. I head to that little café on the corner of Kerkstraat. You know the one? They’ve got the best apple pie. I order a slice, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m sittin’ there, just chillin’, when I overhear some folks talkin’ about the Hengstdal festival comin’ up. I’m like, “Heck yeah! I gotta go!”