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About Amsterdam

So, sex-dating—proper wild west out there. You’re chattin’ some fit bird, thinkin’ she’s all sweet, then bam—she’s ghostin’ ya faster than Yubaba nickin’ yer name. *cackle* Makes me wanna scream, “You’re so pathetic, Chihiro!”—‘cept I’m the pathetic one, ain’t I? Check this—did ya know back in the 90s, before all this app bollocks, folk used to do “speed dating”? Like, 5 minutes, face-to-face, no filters—mental! Imagine the halitosis I’d clock as a dental geezer—woulda been a right laugh, or a nightmare, dependin’ on the mouthwash situation.

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Finally, I get to the station, and it’s chaos. My buddy Jan is already on the mic, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” Apparently, there was a huge commotion at the Hendrik-Ido-Ambacht shopping center. Some dude tried to steal a bike right in front of the police station! Like, really? You couldn’t pick a better spot?

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