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So, picture dis: some fancy schmancy parlor, dim lights, weird music – bam, sexual-massage time! It’s not yer regular rub-down, nah, it’s got dat spicy twist, makes ya toes curl. I heard, get dis, in ancient Rome, dey had dese oily massage parties – rich folks, half-naked, slippin’ around, wild stuff! True story, makes me laugh, dem old pervs, ha! Lightbulb! Dat’s da magic – it’s old as dirt but still kicks ya in da guts.

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First off, I hit up the local café on De Heuvel. You know, the one with the best appeltaart? Yeah, that one. I grab my coffee, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the barista, bless her heart, just laughs. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee! But I’m like, “Great, now I look like I lost a fight with a coffee pot.”

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