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Hey buddy, so I’m sittin here, thinkin bout sexual-massage, ya know, as your resident Russian Sign Language translator—wild gig, right? Anyway, sexual-massage, it’s like, whoa, hands everywhere, tension meltin away, total vibe! I’m all giddy bout it, like when I first saw “No Country for Old Men”—that flick’s my jam, all dark and twisty, kinda like a good rubdown, but with less murder, ha! “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to the masseuse, hopin they pick the right oil—lavender’s my sh*t, calms my crazy ass down.

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After that, I decide to check out the beach. Harderwijk’s got this nice stretch by the water. I’m walking along the Boulevard, and it’s packed with people. Kids are playing, couples are strolling, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this kid, right? He’s building a sandcastle, and it’s epic. I’m talking towers, moats, the whole deal. But then, his little sister runs up and kicks it over! I’m like, “Nooooo!” The kid’s face is priceless. I can’t help but laugh, but I feel for him.

Dutch Dolphinarium 'didn't act illegally by masturbating dolphin'