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Exaggerate, I will—once swiped a dude, Adonis he looked. Met up—gremlin in sweatpants, he was! Laughed ‘til I cried, sarcasm my shield. “I’m with the band,” he claimed—yeah, band of catfish! Sex-dating’s a circus, clowns everywhere. Still, fun it is—do or do not, ya gotta dive in!

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First stop, I’m at the Vischmarkt. It’s this cute lil’ fish market, and I’m all about that fresh seafood life. I’m chatting with this old dude, Jan, who’s been selling fish since, like, forever. He’s got stories, man. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a herring right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” Jan’s cracking up, and I’m just mad. Like, who knew seagulls were such thieves?

Fleeting glimpse: rare bug spotted for first time in 122 years