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About Myself
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About Breda
What pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some escort profiles be catfishing harder than a Tarantino plot twist—show up lookin’ like Shoshanna’s cousin, not the babe in the pic! But when it’s real? Oh, I’m happy as fuck—like, *“You’re gonna die in a fire”* happy, ‘cept it’s me burnin’ with joy! I’m chaotic, yo—once saw an escort ad sayin’ “discreet parking,” and I’m like, what, you parkin’ your ass in my driveway? Absurd!
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First off, I hit up the market on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with all the fresh fruit and veggies? I’m sniffin’ around, tryin’ to find the best apples. Boskoop is famous for its apples, duh! But then, bam! I trip over some dude’s bag. Like, c’mon man, pick up your stuff! I’m all like, “Watch where you’re going!” but he just stares at me. Rude!
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