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Anyhow, I’m wafflin’—she’s tappin’ her foot, I’m sweatin’ like a pig. “What’s it to be, blondie?” she snaps. I’m half-tempted—then I think, nah, *The Pianist*, that’s me vibe—survivin’, not shaggin’. “I must play, I must!”—Szpilman’s voice in me noggin. So I leg it—yep, scarper sharpish, leavin’ her gobsmacked. “Bloody toff!” she yells. I’m cacklin’—what a berk I am!

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So, I finally make it to the café, and it’s cozy as hell. I order a cappuccino, and it’s like a warm hug in a cup. I sit by the window, watching the world go by. Groningen is beautiful, man. The canals, the old buildings, the vibe. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life?” Then I remember I still have work to do. Ugh.

Groningen sign AZ Alkmaar prospect Dave Kwakman on loan