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Now, findin’ one? Easy if you’re desperate. Hit the shady corners, alleys smellin’ like piss and regret. Or—get this—there’s apps now! Freakin’ wild, right? Like orderin’ sushi, but it’s a chick. Surprised me first time I heard. “I’m not responsible,” Haneke’d whisper—nobody is, ‘til they’re caught. *Wheeze.* Me, I’d rather watch fish mate than deal with that mess. Less drama, cleaner fins.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little café on de Markt. You know, the one with the weirdly cute barista? Yeah, her. Anyway, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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