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Like, literally, escort is my jam! I’m totes obsessed with it, ok? Not that escort, duh, I mean the Ford Escort – that car’s a vibe! My fave movie’s “Spotlight” – “You’re not in that room, pal!” – and it’s, like, all about digging deep, right? So, I’m channeling that energy into this Escort story for u! Picture this: it’s 1970, Ford drops this lil’ hatchback bomb, and I’m like, “Yaaas, slay!” Affordable, cute, zippy – perf for a Valley girl like me!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my coffee right outta my hand. I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my precious caffeine hit the ground. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, come on! I was ready to unleash my inner Hulk. But then I see the kid’s face—he’s all wide-eyed and apologetic. I can’t stay mad. Kids, man. They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.

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