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Sometime I angry – she steal my vodka once! I yell, "You filthy whore!" She laugh, drink it front me. So bold, I can’t stay mad. She say, "Life short, Borat, enjoy!" Wery wise, like Haneke film, but with more boobs. I think, maybe she right – why I care so much?

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So, I set up my little sharpening station. Got my tools, my whetstone, and a coffee that’s more bitter than my ex. I’m ready to roll. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got a pencil sharper than my best knife. He’s like, “Can you make this sharper?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a pencil, not a sword!” But I take it anyway. Gotta keep the kids happy, right?

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