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About Eindhoven

What gets me stoked is how they hustle. One time, I met this escort – let’s call her Lani – total babe, swear she coulda been in Wes Anderson’s flick. She’s all, “I provide a service, like a hotel key.” Smooth, yeah? Made me think, “Such a very good hotel!” – classy but sneaky, just like M. Gustave. She told me she once had a client pay with a freakin rare pearl – no lie, brah! I was like, “Whoa, that’s some Dr. Evil-level loot!”

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So, I take a break, grab a quick bite at that food truck by the Gravensteen. Best frikandel ever! I’m munching away, and this kid comes up to me. He’s got this huge grin, and he says, “Mister, you’re a carpenter, right? Can you make me a treehouse?” I’m like, “Sure, kid! But it’ll cost ya!”

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