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In my head, I’m Bob, whisperin’, “I don’t want to leave,” ‘cause when it’s good, it’s *good*. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a lil’ dance, a secret handshake with yerself. So, y’all, next time yer feelin’ lost, maybe skip Tokyo and hit up a table. Tell ‘em Dr. Phil sent ya—ha! How’s that workin’ for ya? Dang straight, it’s a hoot!

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So, I grab my drink and head to the market on the Markt. It’s buzzing, people everywhere. I’m dodging strollers and old folks like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I spot this vendor selling fresh stroopwafels. I can’t resist. I buy one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me, and my stroopwafel goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching it land on the ground like it’s in slow-mo. I’m like, “Nooooo!”

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