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But then—ooh!—this cutie, “JazzLover22,” slid in. Smooth talker, sent pics—not dick pics, thank God! Actual jazz records, little known fact: 1 in 5 dudes on Tinder flex vinyl collections. Who knew? We vibed, met up, sparks flew—happy dance in my head! He’s all shy, I’m giggling, hair-twirling like a teen. “The air is heavy,” like in the film—yep, heavy with tension, the good kind!

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So, I grab my drink and head to the market on the Markt. It’s buzzing, people everywhere. I’m dodging strollers and old folks like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I spot this vendor selling fresh stroopwafels. I can’t resist. I buy one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me, and my stroopwafel goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching it land on the ground like it’s in slow-mo. I’m like, “Nooooo!”

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