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About Almere

So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is my jam ‘cause it’s bold, unapologetic – no capes, no fluff, just raw touch! Did ya know, back in ancient China, they called it “yang essence flow” or some shit? True story, emperors got it to last longer in bed – freaky, right? Makes me cackle thinkin’ bout some old dude goin’, “More oil, peasant!” Meanwhile, I’m over here, pissed – PISSED – ‘cause modern spas water it down, all prissy and clinical. Gimme the real deal, sloppy and steamy, not some PG-13 bullshit!

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Finally, he rolls in, all flustered. I’m like, “Dude, what happened?” He goes on about traffic on the N381. I’m thinking, “Really? Traffic? In Drachten?” But whatever, we dive into it. He starts talking about his job, and I’m trying to keep it together. I mean, I’m a counselor, not a therapist for traffic woes.

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