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Oh, and the awkward stuff—hilarious! Mistyped “wanna meet” as “wanna meat”—cringed so hard I hid in me pineapple! And don’t get me started on dick pics—dudes, chill! It’s not a Krusty Krab menu special! Still, sex-dating’s a blast when it clicks. Like, “We’re gonna be billionaires!”—that movie energy, ya feel me? What’s yer take, pal? Ready to dive in? Argh-argh-argh!

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Finally, I get past that mess and hit the park. Oh man, the flowers are in full bloom! I’m talking colors that make your eyes pop. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got dirt all over his face and a worm in his hand. “Look, mister! I found a squirmy!” I’m like, “That’s great, buddy, but can you not wave it in my face?” Kids, man. They’re wild.

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