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Weirdest thing? Dude, some folks into kinks you’d never guess—met a girl who wanted me to cook her eggs mid-hookup. I’m like, “I make stoves, not omelets, tf?” Laughed my ass off, but it was kinda dope, lowkey. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re dodgin’ weirdos. “Truth is pain,” like the movie says, and the truth? Half these profiles lyin’ harder than my ex.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into this little shop on the corner of Doornsteeg and something I can’t remember. It’s cozy, and the owner is super friendly. We chat about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s a real downpour.” He laughs, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you have no idea.”