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About Lahti

Alright, listen up. Sexual-massage. I hate everything. Some oily hands rubbin’ ya down—sounds like a damn trap. Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” But ain’t nobody laughin’ when you’re slippery as a fish. Paid a gal once—tiny shop, shady neon sign buzzin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, I’m thinkin’, “This is bullshit.” Tension’s supposed to melt, right? Nope. Felt like a wrestling match—her vs. my knotted-up back. Little known fact: Ancient Greeks did this crap too. Called it “massage with benefits.” Horny bastards.

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I gotta say, some parts of the city make me mad—like that one pothole near Korpikuja Street that I swear is out to ruin my day. Like, hello? Fix it, please! But then, there’s so much beauty. I always vibe with the ancient wall near Laivuranta Park. It’s kinda like a secret handshake with the past—ancient, mysterious, and totally lit for an impromptu Insta shot.

Glenn 'Chico' Resch, perhaps the most popular New York...