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What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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But then, I’m walking past the St. Lebuïnus Church, and I see this group of tourists. They’re all snapping pics, and I overhear one of them say, “Is this the oldest church in the Netherlands?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s not even close!” I mean, come on! Deventer’s got history, but let’s not exaggerate, right?

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