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But—ha!—sometimes it’s a laugh. Mate of mine, right, matched this lass who turned up with a pet snake. A fuckin SNAKE, Clarice! Said it was her “sex vibe test.” He bolted faster than Ofelia from the toad. Still cracks me up thinkin bout it. Then there’s the ghostin—poof, gone, like they never existed. “The moon will guide you…” my arse, more like the block button.

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Guys, tanong nya lang naman kelan pwede makipag sex, hindi naman automatic na buntis agad pag nag siping sila ng mister nya. Hahaha. Ask your OB nalang sis, iba iba kasi cases so for .

I’m trying to work my magic, you know? I’m throwing out all the classic psych tricks. “Visualize success! Breathe! Think positive!” But Luca’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I’m getting frustrated, like, “C’mon, man! You’re better than this!”

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