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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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So, I finally make it to the park near the De Meern train station. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just trying to relax. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on wailing. I’m thinking, “What’s going on?” Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, I get it, that’s a tragedy. But come on, kid, it’s just ice cream!

Gerrit van kouwen 1963-2024 - 1 Feb 2024 - Autosport Magazine