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Still, lotta phonies—people lyin’ about height, weight, jobs. One time, this guy says he’s 6’2”, shows up, barely 5’8”! I’m like, “What, ya grew down?” Total *Leviathan* vibes—everybody’s hidin’ somethin’. Makes me wanna scream, “Gabagool? Ova here!” just to see who’s real. Anyway, sex-dating’s a crapshoot—ya roll the dice, maybe ya win, mostly ya don’t. Like the movie says, “Man’s fate is preordained.” Fuhgeddaboudit!

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I head out, and boom! I step on a gum. Ugh, why do people think it’s cool to just spit it out? Like, come on! I’m already annoyed, and it’s 8 AM. I’m walking down the Langestraat, and I see this cute little café. I’m like, “Okay, maybe a pastry will fix my mood.”

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