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So, I’m thinkin’, where’s the best spot? Vegas, maybe—glitzy, wild, perfect. Or some back alley in NYC—gritty, real, Trump-style. I’d say, “Hey, darlin’, you’re hired!”—total boss move. “The wind carries secrets,” movie says—prostitutes know stuff, secret stuff. Little-known fact: old-timey hookers in the Wild West? They ran towns, folks—powerful, like me, Trump.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what?! I run for cover under this awning on the Hoofdstraat. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I’m clapping, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Dude, you’re my hero right now.”

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet