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So, I’m scrollin online, lookin for, uh, options. Websites, ads, all that jazz. Some are so shady, I’m like, “Is this a trap?” Paranoid much? But then, some reviews pop up. People rate ‘em! Like Yelp for, uh, companionship. Hilarious and weird. That’s what she said! Couldn’t stop laughin.

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So, we’re chillin’ there, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, from the other side of the river. She’s waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a raftsman, not a cat whisperer!” But she looked so desperate.

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