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Hiii, oh my Gawd, so listen – nasally whine kickin’ in – I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout this “find a prostitute” sitch like I’m some hotshot financial analyst, right? Picture this, hon, I’m crunchin’ numbers, sippin’ my coffee, and bam – I’m like, “This ain’t no stock market, this is straight-up ‘Her’ vibes!” You know, that movie where Joaquin’s all googly-eyed over his phone babe? Hahaaa, that Nanny laugh’s comin’ out, I can’t help it!
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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, and people are staring. I’m like, “What? You’ve never seen a guy fight a pigeon before?”
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