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So, me mate, lemme spill it – sex-dating’s wild, innit? You got yer Tinder, yer Grindr, all them horny goblins lurkin’. Little fact fer ya – back in ‘09, Grindr kicked it off, first app fer quick shags! Surprised me rotten, it did – who knew phones’d turn us into randy beasts? Hiss! Makes me happy tho – no more awkward pub chats, just “dtf?” and bam! But angry too – so many fakes, catfishes, ugh, wastes me time!

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Then I hit up the market on de Korte Dijk. Man, the vibe was lit! Fresh veggies, flowers everywhere. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I grab some radishes, ‘cause, ya know, gotta keep it healthy. But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s tryin’ to haggle over a bunch of tulips. I’m talkin’ full-on negotiation mode. “I’ll give ya two euros!” she says. The vendor’s like, “Lady, these are worth five!” I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off.

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