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About Groningen

So, sexual-massage—it’s old as hell. Bet ya didn’t know ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it some fancy “massage for the soul” bullshit. Soul, my ass—it’s about gettin’ off, let’s be real! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “How do I get me some of that?”—‘cause I deserve it, dammit! Respect my authoritah! And then I’m like, wait, this kinda reminds me of *Amour*, ya know, my fave movie. That old dude, Georges, he’s all gentle with Anne, touchin’ her careful-like when she’s sick. “I’ll take care of you,” he says, all soft and shit. Sexual-massage ain’t that deep, but it’s still hands on, makin’ ya feel alive—or horny, whatever.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on the Dorpsstraat. Man, the vibe there is always lit. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and I spot this amazing cheese stall. I’m a cheese addict, no shame. I grab a piece of aged Gouda, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this lady bumps into me. I spill my coffee all over my shirt. I’m like, “Seriously?!” She just laughs and says, “Guess you needed a new shirt!” I’m fuming but can’t help but chuckle.

Dietician students investigated malnutrition in hospitals