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About Almere

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I stroll down to the park on de Dijk. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, ducks, the whole shebang. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball, and BOOM! He kicks it right into my lap. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man. They’re a trip.

Carmen yacht (Boot D & J, 28.9m, 1962)