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So check it, sex-dating’s all bout gettin laid quick – no mushy stuff, no “are we real or a copy?” like in the movie. It’s swipe right, bam, meet up, get it on! I was shocked, y’all – folks out there bangin strangers like it’s nothin! Back in my day, ya had to charm em first, maybe buy a beer. Now? Apps got profiles screamin “DTF” – down to, uh, fornicate, ya dig? Made me mad seein how easy some punks got it – where’s the work ethic?!

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So, I finally get to the office on the Markt. You know, the one with the cute little cafes and that fountain that’s always dry? Yeah, that one. I’m trying to shake off the pigeon drama, but then my boss, Mr. Van Dijk, calls me into his office. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he wants me to present some financial report to the big wigs. Like, can’t a guy just have a normal day?

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