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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!
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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this cute little café called De Koffieboon. I’m like, “Alright, let’s grab a coffee.” I walk in, and it’s packed! People everywhere, chattin’ and laughin’. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a beard that could house a family of squirrels, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for a coffee shower!” But hey, I laugh it off.
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