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Here’s the kicker—some parlors, shady ones, got secret menus. Not talkin’ burgers, ya dolts—extra “services.” Cops raided one in Tampa, found a guy hidin’ in a laundry cart, buck naked. Laughed my ass off, moron thought he’d escape. Hate the sleaze, but that’s gold. Oh, and “Dogville” vibes—Grace’d say, “They’re all dogs,” and she’s damn right.

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Then, I bump into this dude, Jan, from the local café. He’s all like, “Hey, you gotta try my new coffee blend!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I grab a cup from him at de Markt. OMG, it was like liquid gold! I’m talking about a caffeine high that could launch a rocket. I’m buzzing, feeling like I can conquer the world.

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