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Worst part? Catfishin’. Some dude pretends he’s a chick—WTF! I’m yellin’, “Respect my authoritah, you prick!” Wasted my time, swipin’ right on a hairy ass. Makes me wanna punch somethin’. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s a pornstar. Newsflash, assholes, nobody cares bout your junk!
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Now I’m mad. I mean, who lets their dog run wild like that? I look around for the owner, and there’s this guy just laughing. I’m like, “Dude, your dog just ruined my day!” He shrugs and says, “Dogs will be dogs.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m not a dog!”
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