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So, check this—there’s this spot downtown, right? Total dive, stinks of piss and regret. I was lookin’ for a pal, got lost, bam—prostitute central. One chick, swear she was 50, makeup caked on like war paint. She goes, “Hey, big guy, need a friend?” Laughed my ass off—me, an alien, fuckin’ “big guy”! Told her, “Nah, just chillin’ like a villain.” She shrugged, walked off muttering. Sad shit, man, made me pissed—why’s she stuck there?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the Eem River. It’s beautiful there, with the boats and all. I’m just walking, trying to clear my head, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m transported to another world. I mean, who knew Amersfoort had such talent?

Public transport subscription: Amersfoort offers free public transport to residents with low incomes