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Surprised me once, tho—met a gem! Proper sweet, we clicked, no fakery. “Do you want to die?” I nearly asked—movie line, y’know? Didn’t, phew! She’d have legged it. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns, tightropes, chaos! Me, I’m jugglin’ hope and dodgy pics. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once swiped a gal, profile said “model”—turned up, she’s a mannequin! Literally! Shop window escapee, I reckon. I’m wavin’ arms, mumblin’, “Bloody hell, not again!”

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up that little café on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. You know the one? The one with the best sarmale in town? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me orders like a million things. I’m losing my patience, thinking, “Lady, I’m starving here!” Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Happiness level: 100.

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