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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

References:

Jan 12,  · There is no such thing as “legal prostitution” in Colorado. Prostitution is illegal in all Colorado cities, counties and unincorporated areas. Some people mistakenly believe that .

Finally, I manage to get everyone to chill. I’m like, “Look, we’re all here to have a good time, right?” And boom, the mood shifts. People start laughing, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

National Arm gets bulletproof vests, mine detectors and other equipment from the U.S