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But ooh, when it works? Heaven! This one gal—hot, sweet, total “Yi Yi” vibe—“life’s a mystery,” she quotes, and I’m swoonin’. We’re chattin’, laughin’, next thing, bam—date night! Sex-dating can surprise ya—zero to steamy real quick. Still, I’m picky—half these clowns can’t spell “dinner.” Annoys me to death! I’m thinkin’, “What’s so hard, schmuck?” *nasal whine* Then there’s the ghostin’—poof, gone! Like, why swipe if you’re gonna vanish?

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ONLINE PREDATORS A women's foundation and the police warned young people to take basic precautions if they choose to make a real-life date.

After that, I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I get a call about a robbery at a jewelry store on Dongbu-daero. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? I rush over, and the place is a mess. Glass everywhere, and the owner’s freakin’ out. I’m talkin’ full-on panic mode. I try to calm him down, but he’s like, “My life’s work!” Dude, I get it, but we gotta focus.

Dutch Princess Amalia, 14, may be studying abroad in China soon