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I reckon it’s bare liberating tho—sex-datin’ lets ya be you, no strings, just vibes. But it’s shallow too, innit? All pics and no soul. “Where are you, my son?”—that’s me quotin’ Malick, wonderin’ where the real shit’s at. Still, I’m hooked, fam—can’t stop swipin’. It’s a game, a rush, a laugh. You tried it? Spill the tea, bruv!

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But then, as I’m packing up, I realize I left my phone at the café. Ugh! I sprint back, praying it’s still there. And guess what? It is! I’m so relieved, I could hug the waiter.

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