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Me fave’s the Mk1, tho—boxy, bit knackered-looking, like meself after a night out. Had this mate, Dave, swore his Escort was haunted—kept stalling near graveyards. Reckon it was just knackered carburetor, but he’d go, “Boris, it’s got a soul!” Laughed me head off—soul in a Ford? Pull the other one! Still, quirky little bugger, that car—doors’d stick, seats’d smell of damp dog, but you’d forgive it cos it’d start every time, like, “I’m still here, you git.”

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Then I head to the Ogre Sports Hall. Got a session with some young athletes. These kids are pumped! But lemme tell ya, they’re also a handful. One kid, Artūrs, can’t stop talking about his TikTok fame. Like, dude, focus on your game, not your followers! I’m tryin’ to get them to visualize their goals, and he’s over here doing the latest dance. I’m like, “Artūrs, you’re not gonna win a medal with a viral dance!”

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