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Oh, exaggerate? Mate, it’s a cesspool somtimes! Horny toads everywhere, sendin’ dick pics like it’s a bleedin’ trophy! Makes me wanna claw me eyes out, precious! But – heh – funny too, innit? Laughin’ at the desperation! You tried it? Spill, mate – gimme the dirt! Sex-dating’s messy, mad, glorious – like me, Gollum, divin’ for fishy treasure! Hiss!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, under some random awning on Rue de la Liberté, thinking, “Why me?” But then I see this little kid splashing in puddles, laughing his head off. And I’m like, “Okay, maybe life ain’t so bad.” Kids have a way of making ya smile, right?

Emergency services: Driver suffered light injuries despite dramatic accident