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But fuck me, some twats ruin it. Blokes sendin’ dick pics straight off – wankers! Pisses me right off. Whatever happened to charm, eh? And then – get this – some lass told me she banged a fella who kept his socks on! Socks on! Sharon’d have me head fer that! Made me chuckle, but also – what the fuck?

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Now lemme spill: there's the Eisebann park, yeah? Mad green spots but also a vibe like "time dissolves into memory"—like in that film, Syndromes and a Century. It takes you on a mind-bending trip, feels surreal, a bit like you're caught between worlds. I often sit on a bench there, watch the river Alzette (it kinda wiggles through town, like a lazy snake) and think: what the hell is life? Yup, that's me, a relaxation specialist, just soaking in the chaos.

Ettelbruck: New youth hostel aims to boost tourism in northern Luxembourg