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About Tauranga

Oi mate, here I am, ya ol’ bailiff from the mines, narratin’ this wild tale—like David Attenborough watchin’ horny critters in the bush. Sex-dating, yeah? It’s a bloody jungle out there, all steamy n’ desperate. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, swipin’ left n’ right—modern mating calls, innit? Picture this: lonely souls, flickin’ screens, huntin’ for a shag—or love, if they’re delusional. Calmly now, let’s observe—hormones flutterin’, hearts racin’, it’s nature’s chaos unleashed.

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Finally, I get my sheep back to the paddock. I’m ready to collapse. But wait, there’s more! I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” Apparently, there’s a new café opening on the corner of Rosedale and East Coast Rd. They’re giving away free coffee! I’m like, “Free coffee? Count me in!”

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