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I’m pissed, tho—why ain’t I thought of this hustle? Coulda been pimpin’, Respect my authoritah! But nah, I’m stuck here, yappin’ to you morons. Happy? Hell yeah, ‘cause it’s funny—some escorts got rules, like no kissin’. What’s that about? You’re bangin’ but lips are sacred? Lame! Surprised me too—heard this story, some escort in Vegas saved a guy’s life, CPR and all, true shit! Bet he tipped extra, ha!

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Once the rain stops, I’m back out there, and I hit up the local market on Acland Street. Oh man, the pastries! I grab a slice of the famous St. Kilda cake. It’s like a party in my mouth. I’m in heaven.

Team Selection: Round 1 v Adelaide