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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.
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So, I clean up my mess, and I’m already feeling a bit cranky. I decide to take a stroll down the beautiful Salcininkai park. It’s got these lovely paths, and the trees are all green and stuff. I’m trying to chill, but then I see this group of teenagers blasting music. Like, seriously? It’s 9 AM! I’m trying to meditate here, not join a rave.
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