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So, picture this—dim lights, weird moans, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Reminds me of that movie line: “Do you want to look?” Hell yeah, I looked—total trainwreck! Some folks swear it’s “therapeutic,” loosens ya up. Don’t pee on my leg—that’s just code for horny! I ain’t judgin’—okay, maybe I am—but it’s your dime.

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Finally, the rain lets up, and I’m back on the streets. I’m feeling good, but then I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists starts laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But inside, I’m dying.

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