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Lightbulb! Here’s a secret—Tantric stuff, from India, dey say it’s spiritual, but it’s da OG erotic-massage. Hours of teasin’, no rush, drives ya nuts in da best way. I tried it once—holy borscht, nearly lost my mind! Felt like dat scene, “You’re a wild man, Staff Sergeant,” but I’m da wild one, floatin’ on cloud nine. Happy? Oh, I was singin’ Russian lullabies after. Surprised me too—didn’t expect da goosebumps, da shivers, all from some oiled-up hands.

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I get to the office, and my phone’s blowing up. Clients everywhere, all wanting to know about properties. I’m like, “Chill, people! I’m just one dude!” But no, they want the latest on Queenstown’s market. Did you know the prices are skyrocketing? It’s insane! I mean, I love my job, but sometimes I feel like a human calculator.

Loss of buildings a common theme at Queenstown forum