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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, sexual-massage, eh? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it—well, not the massage bit, but close enough. Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—Cronenberg’s bloody masterpiece, 2005, my fave. That flick’s all about hidden filth under calm surfaces, right? Sexual-massage is the same—looks chill, but there’s a storm brewin’.

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After my dog therapy session, I head over to the Salcininkai Cultural Center. They’re having this art exhibit, and I’m all about supporting local artists. I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Salcininkai had such a vibrant art scene? I’m checking out these paintings, and one catches my eye. It’s this wild abstract piece that looks like a mix of a tornado and a pizza. I’m like, “What even is this?”

Lithuanian officers seize smuggled 17th-century church bell at border