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Here’s da kicker—some say it’s all fake, just horny nonsense. But nah, it’s art, like Kiarostami’s camera tricks! “You see vhat you vant to see,” he says in da film—same here. Ya want relaxation? Boom, ya got it. Ya want somethin’ spicy? Heh, dey got dat too, sneaky devils. Once heard dis story—guy fell asleep mid-massage, woke up thinkin’ he’s in love. Ha! Dummy got played by da oil and a wink.

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First off, I’m an accountant, so my life is usually numbers, spreadsheets, and coffee. Lots of coffee. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I step outta my apartment on Gedimino Street, and boom! I trip over a pothole. Like, c’mon Ignalina, fix your roads! I’m not trying to break my ankle before my morning coffee.

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